When Eating Feels Like an Addiction
As an eating disorder therapist, I hear a lot of people say they feel like they can’t stop eating. They say they’re out of control, that food has a hold on them, and they just can’t resist certain things — normally the food deemed “bad”. For many, it can feel like inner conflict, like an angel and a devil on their shoulders shouting at them.
Food can certainly feel like an addiction for many people, with powerful thoughts and feelings commanding them to eat. It can feel like a yearning need, with real distress at the thought of not getting what they want. This is not simply just about willpower or weakness, this is a distressing battle of the mind. It can have such a huge impact on daily life and mental health. This distress can be indicative of disordered eating or an eating disorder, for which people deserve tailored help/therapy.
There are similarities in how addictions and eating disorders develop and are maintained, but there are important differences when it comes to treatment/ therapy.
For those who binge eat or emotionally eat, it can serve a purpose as a way of coping, whether through distraction, soothing, or bringing joy. Similarly to addictions like drugs or alcohol, food can sometimes be used as a way to manage difficult life experiences, adversity, discrimination, or past trauma.
Trauma doesn’t just mean “capital T” trauma e.g. a single traumatic event (which may be diagnosed as PTSD). There is “complex trauma” which relates to early childhood relationships, attachment issues, neglect, or emotional abuse. Experiences of racism, ableism, transphobia and other forms of discrimination are also traumatic. These experiences can cause long-term damage to self-worth and create underlying shame, which then drives coping mechanisms like substance use, gambling, and disordered eating.
However, eating has the added influence of diet culture and the idealisation of thinness, which is the strongest environmental predictor of the development of eating disorders. Many disordered eating behaviours are normalised and even praised in our society, so they can hide in plain sight. Trauma can also stem from the experience of being bullied, abused and publicly shamed for weight or appearance, especially for those in larger bodies who face stigma and anti-fat biases.
With an addiction, in theory, you can give up the substance (though that’s not easy, of course). But you can’t give up food, you have to work on your entire relationship with it. This involves exploring the factors that shaped how you eat, including societal messages, family narratives, and early life experiences.
A common approach to treating addiction is through 12-step programs, such as Alcoholics Anonymous. These programs typically focus on abstinence, i.e. not taking substances. However, with food, abstinence isn’t an option (or when it is, in the form of restriction, this can be more harmful).
Overeaters Anonymous follows a similar 12-step model, based on the idea of abstaining from “overeating” or binge eating. The term “overeating” itself carries moral judgment and assumes there’s a “normal” or “correct” amount to eat, which isn’t necessarily true. Everyone has different needs and recovery is about improving relationships with food, not restricting it further. Trying not to binge or emotionally eat often backfires because deprivation fuels it. Abstinence-based approaches can reinforce the idea that not eating “too much” is a matter of willpower, when in reality, it’s way more complex.
The assumption that people “just eat too much” and should simply stop is a harmful oversimplification. It fuels blame and shame, which those who binge eat or emotionally eat often already experience. Many people struggling with disordered eating have strong inner critics, so a key part of healing is building self-compassion.
Binge eating often happens in a cycle of restriction, bingeing, and shame. When a diet “fails” or a person eats more than they intended, they may feel overwhelming guilt and shame. This can lead them to restrict again in an attempt to regain control, only to inevitably lead back to bingeing. You can read a more in-depth explanation of binge eating, with diagrams, here.
Trying to eat less or avoid bingeing will only make things worse because it keeps the cycle of shame and restriction going. This is why abstinence-based approaches can do more harm than good - they fuel disordered eating by reinforcing deprivation. When you’re deprived, both your body and mind will scream for more. Many people binge eat at night, in part because they haven’t eaten enough during the day. It may seem counter-intuitive, but sometimes the first stage of healing binge eating is to work on eating enough. This isn’t the case for everyone, and many potential underlying factors need to be explored too, e.g. childhood experiences, trauma, relationships, attachment and more.
This is why therapy can be so important. It provides a space with someone who understands and can help unpack these issues.
When eating feels like a food addiction, it’s likely part of dieting or disordered eating. Food in itself is not an addictive substance like drugs, so it’s more of a psychological and emotional feeling of being addicted. Cravings and “food noise” are likely due to hunger, forbidden foods, calorie restriction, or simply just not eating enough. Sugar is often something cited as addictive but this is also the thing most likely to be restricted. When sugar is “bad” or forbidden, it awakens the inner angry teenager who will rebel and want it no matter what. This is where the inner conflict can come in and cause distress.
Recovering from disordered eating involves exploring its root causes, building awareness and self-compassion, and understanding how dieting and bingeing cycles work and the impact of diet culture. Many people struggling with food also have underlying self-worth and self-esteem challenges, which can be worked through in therapy.
I believe healing is absolutely possible, as a practitioner and as somebody with lived experience of a difficult relationship with food and my body. I’ve worked for many years on my relationship with food, exercise and body image, and I’m now it’s a privilege and an honour to help others through this. It’s a process that requires time and patience, but the freedom of no longer constantly worrying about food and your body is totally worth it in the end, trust me.
If you’d like to start counselling sessions and improve your relationship with food, get in touch for a free 15-minute introductory call on Zoom.
Originally published at https://www.melciavucco.com.
